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'They Are Breasts; They're Not a Big Deal'

Jacob Sullum | August 21, 2008, 1:19pm

The annual Boobs on Bikes parade in Auckland, New Zealand, went off without a hitch this week despite attempts to block the event by local politicians and conservative activists. On Tuesday a judge rejected the Auckland District Council's request for an injunction against the topless processional, organized by porn promoter Steve Crow. The council argued that the event violated a law against offensive parades. The judge questioned the validity of the law and the offensiveness of the parade, noting that last year it attacted some 100,000 onlookers, presumably not all of them protesters. Now a group called Family First is lobbying for an explicit ban on topless parades, saying "the current law is far too liberal and vague." Crow begs to differ:

It is topless people, men and women, in a public place, which is perfectly legal under our Bill of Rights and under New Zealand law. Mr McCoskrie [director of Family First] keeps harping on that it is pornography. They are breasts; they're not a big deal.

What say you? McCoskrie raises an interesting point when he notes that police stopped three topless women from walking through Hamilton on Monday, the day before 30 topless women rode through Auckland with impunity. Are breasts offensive only in small numbers?

I discussed the economics of toplessness in a recent post about sex discrimination in Las Vegas.

[Thanks to El Destiny for the tip.]

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Comments to "'They Are Breasts; They're Not a Big Deal'":

Naga Sadow | August 21, 2008, 1:23pm | #

New Orleans better get a lid on this before Mardi Gras loses its meaning. Drunkenness and toplessness.

Episiarch | August 21, 2008, 1:25pm | #

Equal protection under the law. If men can go without a shirt on, so can women.

ed | August 21, 2008, 1:25pm | #

For just a wonderful second I thought that was Cindy McCain.

Abdul | August 21, 2008, 1:28pm | #

I remember hearing that Maori women once greeted the queen by showing their breasts. Apparently, it's the Maori woman's way of giving the finger.

Elemenope | August 21, 2008, 1:28pm | #

Epi --

There's also the part where I like breasts.

Elemenope | August 21, 2008, 1:29pm | #

I remember hearing that Maori women once greeted the queen by showing their breasts. Apparently, it's the Maori woman's way of giving the finger.

Rude traveling lesbians must get very confused.

Booby | August 21, 2008, 1:29pm | #

"For just a wonderful second I thought that was Cindy McCain."

I doubt hers look that good.

rana | August 21, 2008, 1:32pm | #

You do realize they are fake... not that it matters to most of you, I'm sure.

Naga Sadow | August 21, 2008, 1:34pm | #

We need a ReasonTV thread for . . . uh . . . research . . . into Libertarian events in New Zealand. Just sayin'.

Naga Sadow | August 21, 2008, 1:34pm | #

Rana,

Why would it matter?

Smappy | August 21, 2008, 1:34pm | #

Cue comment expressing hope that Lobster Girl is a New Zealander in 3, 2, 1 . . .

Champmaniac | August 21, 2008, 1:36pm | #

It's not hard to make a logical case for allowing women to bare their breasts, but only if you disregard the practical effects of letting them do something that many of them are not mature enough to handle.

Jaybird | August 21, 2008, 1:36pm | #

They're only not a big deal when they're not a big deal.

Am I right?

rana | August 21, 2008, 1:37pm | #

"Why would it matter?"
It doesn't?


BTW, would a "Hairy Butts on Bikes" parade draw this much attention?

Alternative Champmaniac | August 21, 2008, 1:37pm | #

It's not hard to make a logical case for allowing men to see bare breasts, but only if you disregard the practical effects of letting them do something that many of them are not mature enough to handle.

The Angry Optimist | August 21, 2008, 1:38pm | #

just to take a devil's advocate side for a moment: how do we define "rights" when it comes to what you are and are not entitled to do on public property?

presumably this event is on public streets...is there a libertarian objection to the fact that the government owns the streets and is therefore subject to the whims of the majority?

Episiarch | August 21, 2008, 1:39pm | #

There's also the part where I like breasts.

I figured that was implied in my statement. Or just the fact that I said...anything.

Jon | August 21, 2008, 1:42pm | #

God damn ... we could take some pointers from NZ.

Naga Sadow | August 21, 2008, 1:44pm | #

rana,

I'm what you would call apathetic to the argument that having "fake" breasts matters. Granted I work in a casino where half the cocktail staff has "fake" breasts.

Elemenope | August 21, 2008, 1:45pm | #

TAO --

If a behavior is not inherently destructive, libertarians generally side with it not being restrainable even in public space.

Personally, on this, I come down on equal protection grounds like Epi did.

R C Dean | August 21, 2008, 1:45pm | #

BTW, would a "Hairy Butts on Bikes" parade draw this much attention?

I'm pretty sure that was one of the entrants in this year's San Francisco Gay Pride parade.

P Brooks | August 21, 2008, 1:48pm | #

"the current law is far too liberal and vague."

I'm glad to see America is not the only nation intent on doing away with vague, liberal laws. I anxiously await the day when "Anything not Prohibited is Mandatory."

Episiarch | August 21, 2008, 1:48pm | #

You do realize they are fake... not that it matters to most of you, I'm sure.

Not to start a crazy-ass flame war (who am I kidding--of course I want to), but I do not like fake breasts. At all. I much prefer small real ones to fake big ones. Especially with the horrible scar marks underneath them. Ugh.

(steps back, hopes for massive thread count)

P Brooks | August 21, 2008, 1:49pm | #

They're not "fake". They're "technologically enhanced".

P Brooks | August 21, 2008, 1:50pm | #

And some people apparently like air pillows.

Naga Sadow | August 21, 2008, 1:50pm | #

The reason I'm opposed to this event coming to the US are all the accident that will take place. Insurance premiums will shoot through the roof! Hospitals will overflow with the maimed victims of trying to drive and stare at a hot set of tits! Chaos will reign!

The Angry Optimist | August 21, 2008, 1:53pm | #

If a behavior is not inherently destructive, libertarians generally side with it not being restrainable even in public space.

I could see a libertarian argument re: area property values arguing against allowing say, crack-smoking and panhandling on the streets outside a residential neighborhood.

Of course, I guess if the "right" to smoke crack (or whatever drug you want to put in there) is somehow inherent, I suppose there's no room to complain.

SugarFree | August 21, 2008, 1:54pm | #

Bacon bra!

Naga Sadow | August 21, 2008, 1:54pm | #

Episiarch,

You fool!!! Now that that is out of the way. You're an ass man aren't you?

Todd B. Norris | August 21, 2008, 1:54pm | #

well, i don't know if breast in small numbers are offensive, but i would say that breasts in small numbers are definitively a missed opportunity.
-=tbn=-

SugarFree | August 21, 2008, 1:55pm | #

I also come down on the real boobies side of the debate. Plastic boobs are a bonerkiller.

Naga Sadow | August 21, 2008, 1:57pm | #

SugarFree,

Good bacon was ruined for the sake of amusement . . . (sigh) . . . when will we learn. (shakes head)

ed | August 21, 2008, 1:59pm | #

That helmet is protecting her least valuable asset.

Episiarch | August 21, 2008, 2:01pm | #

You're an ass man aren't you?

You are a surprisingly perceptive dude, Naga.

The Angry Optimist | August 21, 2008, 2:01pm | #

I much prefer small real ones to fake big ones.

Oh thank god I thought I was the only one. Most of my male friends look at me askance when I say that As and Bs are vastly superior to Ds, which are just obnoxious and usually give the woman attached a false sense of hypnotic power. It's like "yeah, honey, I'm not impressed".

Nigel Watt | August 21, 2008, 2:03pm | #

Uh, isn't there a chance that image is NSFW? My internship ends tomorrow, so I'm not panicking, but still...

SugarFree | August 21, 2008, 2:06pm | #

Naga,

If you didn't read the comments, I'll give you the highlight.
Has this woman never heard of trichonosis?
Do a lot of feminists have the problem of their breasts growing mouths and eating raw bacon? Because I'm sorta turned on.

But then threads like this show up and the bonerkiller effect takes hold.

P Brooks | August 21, 2008, 2:06pm | #

Looking at the way that helmet fits, I cannot help wondering if her plastic surgeon was having a "buy two, get one free" sale.

Naga Sadow | August 21, 2008, 2:07pm | #

Epi,

I surprise myself quite a bit.

Angry Optimist,

I've never run into a set of tits I didn't like. My friends look at me like I'm crazy when I look at all women as equal in tit area.

Warren | August 21, 2008, 2:07pm | #

While I applaud the judges decision, I'm aghast at his assertion that breasts are "no big deal". They are a very big deal sir. Women displaying their breasts is not only the free exorcise of individual liberty, it is also a tonic to the health and well being of society at large.
And the larger the better *rimshot

Plastic boobs are like plastic fruit. They may look juicy and sweet, but they aint.

kinnath | August 21, 2008, 2:07pm | #

You're an ass man aren't you?

So I asked joe, "what's the first thing you notice in a woman?" . . .

He replied: "well, that depends on which direction she's walking."

SugarFree | August 21, 2008, 2:08pm | #

Nigel,

If "bacon bra" doesn't tell you all you need to know to decide if you should click the link, you have a lot more problems than me forgetting to throw in a NSFW tag.

Naga Sadow | August 21, 2008, 2:09pm | #

SugarFree,

I'd hit it as long as she was on vacation with no way of tracking me down afterward. Just sayin'.

rana | August 21, 2008, 2:10pm | #

"I much prefer small real ones to fake big ones. Especially with the horrible scar marks underneath them. Ugh."

I have heard other men say this as well.
Then again, I have heard that "Sin Tetas No Hay Paraiso".

P Brooks | August 21, 2008, 2:10pm | #

If "bacon bra" doesn't tell you all you need to know

I assumed it had eight cups; that wasn't it?

Episiarch | August 21, 2008, 2:13pm | #

Then again, I have heard that "Sin Tetas No Hay Paraiso".

If there weren't guys who felt that way, there wouldn't be any fake breasts.

SugarFree | August 21, 2008, 2:13pm | #

Nigel,

That was a generic "you," not a full-fledged assault. Don't need another semantics war like yesterday.

John Wright | August 21, 2008, 2:14pm | #

For the record, guys, I like 'em all. Enhanced or no, they're a delight in this world. No shame in a boob job, girls.

Mad Max | August 21, 2008, 2:15pm | #

Of course breasts are no big deal. That's why the guy organized a parade which explictly center on the theme of women's breasts. And the guy is a pornographer, in an industry which famously has an attitude of pure indifference towards breasts. "That woman has large breasts? To be honest, I hadn't even noticed," is a phrase you keep hearing in the porn industry.

Nigel Watt | August 21, 2008, 2:15pm | #

Nutrasweet, I didn't even see your link when I posted.

Nigel Watt | August 21, 2008, 2:16pm | #

Also, I don't think I was hostile yesterday. Hope not, no reason to be.

SugarFree | August 21, 2008, 2:16pm | #

I always look at breasts 10 years down the line. D is fun now, but it turns into National Geographic eventually.

The lesson here: Big boobs are for hooking-up and small ones are the marrying kind. I split the difference, but I'm fine with that.

Episiarch | August 21, 2008, 2:18pm | #

The lesson here: Big boobs are for hooking-up and small ones are the marrying kind. I split the difference, but I'm fine with that.

You're so utilitarian. Where's the fun in that?

Naga Sadow | August 21, 2008, 2:18pm | #

SugarFree,

You look at breasts down the years? Like tattoos? Each to his own I suppose.

SugarFree | August 21, 2008, 2:19pm | #

Nigel,

Sorry, I was the only one who linked an image. Duh. Didn't think about the biker chick.

I wasn't talking about you actually, I was thinking of that long semantics war Epi got into with whatshisname, like 30 posts back and forth.

SugarFree | August 21, 2008, 2:20pm | #

Sorry, compulsive serial monogamist. I don't date well, I'm all about the nesting.

Don't have any tats either.

Nigel Watt | August 21, 2008, 2:20pm | #

Oh. That's when I start reading a different thread and/or site.

isildur | August 21, 2008, 2:20pm | #

What say I? I say: it's interesting that the image chosen to illustrate this story has the (heh) titular breasts partially concealed in a totally prime-time-TV-acceptable way.

We may be on the verge of liberating ourselves from the vestiges of English Puritanism... but apparently today is not the day the revolution begins.

Xeones | August 21, 2008, 2:27pm | #

Gonna go with SugarFree on this one. Of course, i don't get the secret menu at Taco Bell, either.

SugarFree | August 21, 2008, 2:28pm | #

That's when I start reading a different thread and/or site.

Slut. Cheater.

We should do this to your car.

Naga Sadow | August 21, 2008, 2:28pm | #

Well if you ever do you just gave yourself the best idea for a tattoo. Serial monogamist. 100 bucks says the tattoo artist doesn't know what monogamist means.

rana | August 21, 2008, 2:30pm | #

"You're an ass man aren't you?"

I know a coworker who is getting butt implants (women share all types of information).
Cuz' everyone knows that "Sin Culo No Hay Paraiso".

Episiarch | August 21, 2008, 2:30pm | #

We should do this to your car.

What man hurt you so bad, NutraSweet?

Naga Sadow | August 21, 2008, 2:31pm | #

Bitchin'!!! SugarFree, I think that last one has a touch of my home state. The pickup truck run into the doublewide trailer move. Check and mate!

isildur | August 21, 2008, 2:32pm | #

Rana, what's your co-worker gonna do with all that junk? All that junk? In her trunk?

Episiarch | August 21, 2008, 2:34pm | #

I know a coworker who is getting butt implants (women share all types of information).

My god, that would be worse than breast implants. Ugh again. Liking asses doesn't necessarily mean liking huge ones, same as breasts. Just nice ones.

Cuz' everyone knows that "Sin (complete el espacio) No Hay Paraiso".

I think that probably covers everything.

SugarFree | August 21, 2008, 2:35pm | #

Xeones,

Nice cartoon.

Although I will confess that I'm actually a total-packager. Ass, legs, breasts, face, IQ, and mental state. I don't demand perfection, I just want a pleasing balance. Proportionality and durability.

The best thing I ever did for myself was when I finally broke my addiction to fucked-in-the-head girls. Disturbed poontang gets old real fucking fast after 21.

rana | August 21, 2008, 2:41pm | #

"Rana, what's your co-worker gonna do with all that junk? All that junk? In her trunk?"

Well, she is really large breasted. I think she wants to keep from tipping over.

SugarFree | August 21, 2008, 2:42pm | #

What man hurt you so bad, NutraSweet?

Nigel, after I found out he was a dirty cheater, flashing his junk on other comment boards.

Sorry. I've got something in my eye.

Occam's toothbrush | August 21, 2008, 2:48pm | #

Which part of the female form you find most pleasing is almost entirely an effect of environment. I'm working on training myself to be an "ankle man", since those are exposed a lot more and women don't notice you staring at their (or other women's) heels.

Jayne Cobb | August 21, 2008, 2:50pm | #

I'll be in my bunk parade.

Dagny T. | August 21, 2008, 3:15pm | #

Well, she is really large breasted. I think she wants to keep from tipping over.

This visual cracked me up.

Liking asses doesn't necessarily mean liking huge ones, same as breasts. Just nice ones.

Not to be a silicone-booty-apologist, but what if she had a really flat ass? Maybe she could use those orthotics instead.


SugarFree | August 21, 2008, 3:36pm | #

I'm the completely assless variety of white guy, but I still wouldn't consider implants.

Dagny T. | August 21, 2008, 3:44pm | #

SF,

But you're not in danger of tipping, I hope. ;)

If you've ever been a bored 12 year old in the Sears lingerie dept., you may have come across some hilarious-looking booty-padded panties. A nice alternative to surgical solutions?

Episiarch | August 21, 2008, 3:49pm | #

I'm the completely assless variety of white guy, but I still wouldn't consider implants.

Not completely assless, you have your face.

ZING

Not to be a silicone-booty-apologist, but what if she had a really flat ass? Maybe she could use those orthotics instead.

It's pretty hard to have a truly flat ass. Just doing some running/swimming/skating should make it significantly better.

rana | August 21, 2008, 4:06pm | #

"Liking asses doesn't necessarily mean liking huge ones..."

I keep reading "Licking asses", much like reading "crispy balls" the other day.
Either I need glasses or get my mind out of the gutter (which should first include not reading Hit and Run posts and get back to work!).

SugarFree | August 21, 2008, 4:06pm | #

But you're not in danger of tipping, I hope. ;)

No, but I am standard white guy variant 3. Big head, beard, beer gut, no ass, thinning hair I haven't quite got the nerve to buzz off yet. I've got nice legs, though, and eyes that change colors depending on the weather. I'm a medium sized bear.

Dagny T. | August 21, 2008, 4:07pm | #

It's pretty hard to have a truly flat ass. Just doing some running/swimming/skating should make it significantly better.

Good point. That's also a good prescription for the many girls with too much ass/everything else. Exercise, ladies. It ain't rocket science.

SugarFree | August 21, 2008, 4:07pm | #

Not completely assless, you have your face.

You know he popped a little bit of boner when he though that up. Sicko.

John C. Randolph | August 21, 2008, 4:11pm | #

Granted I work in a casino where half the cocktail staff has "fake" breasts.

Sorry to hear it, dude. Plastic tits are repulsive.

-jcr

Dagny T. | August 21, 2008, 4:12pm | #

Big head, beard, beer gut, no ass, thinning hair...

So it would appear you're not Epi's type, after all. Hope that's not too big a let-down. :P

SugarFree | August 21, 2008, 4:12pm | #

thought! Argghh! It's been typo city today. Crap.

SugarFree | August 21, 2008, 4:13pm | #

Dagny T.,

Well, my tits aren't fake... so I got that going for me.

Episiarch | August 21, 2008, 4:17pm | #

So it would appear you're not Epi's type, after all. Hope that's not too big a let-down.

Maybe if he got me really drunk. And slipped me some rohypnol.

You know he popped a little bit of boner when he though that up. Sicko.

Stop complaining and take your beating with some dignity.

lunchstealer | August 21, 2008, 4:21pm | #

I don't know what sicko perversions these porno guys are into, but I for one have voice strong opposition to this idea that breasts are in any way not a big deal.

Heck, even on Bourbon street, when you can't toss a rat ten yards without hitting an exposed breast, each and every one of them is a big deal. Even small breasts are a big deal - I myself find A-cups just as wonderfully titillating as a good solid C.

I will not stand for breast devaluation.

SugarFree | August 21, 2008, 4:48pm | #

when you can't toss a rat ten yards without hitting an exposed breast

That is not sanitary, dude.

Helpful guy | August 21, 2008, 5:03pm | #

Here are some NSFW pics from the event.

Helpful guy fails at tags | August 21, 2008, 5:03pm | #

http://www.pbase.com/craigsyd/boobs_on_bikes

Josh Lyle | August 21, 2008, 5:07pm | #

SugarFree
The best thing I ever did for myself was when I finally broke my addiction to fucked-in-the-head girls.
It's a big step, removing "lithium" from your list of turn-ons.

Dale Innis | August 21, 2008, 5:17pm | #

"What say you?": This was a rhetorical question? Laws enforcing utterly useless body-taboos are stupid and should be done away with. What could anyone else who reads, or is even aware of the existence of, this weblog possibly think?

rana | August 21, 2008, 5:22pm | #

You sound like a cuddly bear to me Sugarfree. That has as much sex appeal as "ladykiller" Episiarch.
Hmmmmm, how to choose? ;)

SugarFree | August 21, 2008, 5:36pm | #

I gave you an imaginary factory. Just keep that in mind.

SugarFree | August 21, 2008, 5:41pm | #

Although my Spanish sucks. All I know are food words.

Dagny T. | August 21, 2008, 5:47pm | #

All I know are food words.

Sounds like rana likes 'em thick, so that might be all you need.

SugarFree | August 21, 2008, 6:03pm | #

Dulce de leche!

Dagny T. | August 21, 2008, 6:06pm | #

Dulce de leche!

Is so not sugar-free. But it is very tasty.

The Wine Commonsewer | August 21, 2008, 6:22pm | #

They Are Breasts; They're Not a Big Deal

Which is, of course, why 100,000 New Zealenders are expected to show up to see chicks with naked boobs on bikes.

BTW, I know women who are bikers. And I don't mean Hessian Bitches or Hells Angels Old Ladies. None of them look like the blond in the picture.

The Wine Commonsewer | August 21, 2008, 6:26pm | #

BTW, this is much better than Dykes on Bikes.

The Wine Commonsewer | August 21, 2008, 6:29pm | #

I will not stand for breast devaluation.

I'll drink to that. :-)

Travis | August 21, 2008, 7:05pm | #

"I remember hearing that Maori women once greeted the queen by showing their breasts. Apparently, it's the Maori woman's way of giving the finger."

If only that was an American custom. I'd being trying to piss every woman I met.

Jenny Wilson | August 22, 2008, 7:50am | #

Wow, I would sure love to have some of that blond wrapped around my back! hey now!

JW
http://www.Ultimate-Anonymity.com

Travis | August 22, 2008, 8:16am | #

If only that was an American custom. I'd being trying to piss "off" every woman I met.

Joe S. | August 22, 2008, 10:30am | #

You know what I like about the internet? It's so friggin' big that I can waltz in here, make an irrelevant comment, and waltz out again, and no one will ever care.

Just like if I said something important.

prolefeed | August 22, 2008, 7:57pm | #

Are breasts offensive only in small numbers?

Actually, they are offensive in large numbers. Any more than two on a given woman is a deal-breaker for me.

prolefeed | August 22, 2008, 8:00pm | #

I always look at breasts 10 years down the line. D is fun now, but it turns into National Geographic eventually.

The lesson here: Big boobs are for hooking-up and small ones are the marrying kind. I split the difference, but I'm fine with that.

My wife's a D-cup, and about twenty years into the marriage, they're still fucking hot.

Not that small breasts don't have their charms, too.

Fake D-cups, though -- ugh.

LarryA | August 23, 2008, 1:23pm | #

Which is, of course, why 100,000 New Zealenders are expected to show up to see chicks with naked boobs on bikes.

Not all of them were on bikes. Looking at the NSFW photos, I really wonder where they came up with the armed and armored military vehicles.

"This is your rifle, this is your gun. The first is for fighting, the second for fun."

James Anderson Merritt | August 23, 2008, 9:24pm | #

Ah, the Magical Realm of Middle Earth! They aren't shy in the Shire, are they?

James Anderson Merritt | August 23, 2008, 9:34pm | #

"What say you? McCoskrie raises an interesting point when he notes that police stopped three topless women from walking through Hamilton on Monday, the day before 30 topless women rode through Auckland with impunity. Are breasts offensive only in small numbers?"

Will somebody please tell the unfairly persecuted "Auckland Three" that "Californy is the place you want to be." Here in Santa Cruz CA, fully nude women can stride the downtown streets with impunity, as shown in the article I cite below. Nobody stopped this particular lady, and a bicycle cop even rode alongside for awhile:

http://www.scsextra.com/story.php?sid=78210

New Zealand, send us your huddled masses of kiwi hotties, yearning to breathe free!

commando | August 24, 2008, 12:30am | #

What I can't is fake teeth; you know, the kind enhanced by wearing braces and headgear. Don't get me started on fake hairless nostrils. Get me a parade with girls, nose hair dangling down to their ankles, on bikes and I'm there!

commando | August 24, 2008, 8:39am | #

uh, 'can't take'